I probably eat a lot of bugs

as my bed, which is really just a thin mattress, is situated just left of the window. Scattered around my pillow are maybe a dozen dead bugs; you know, gnats, mosquitoes, other unidentifiable species, and I'm not going to lie to you, I probably sleep with my mouth open.

I asked my room mate, who's Korean Korean, if she thinks we are eating a lot of bugs here. She said no, but I'm pretty sure I am eating a lot of bugs, so maybe that amount is just the Korean standard. You know, no more no less than what other people are eating in other places.

And this is why I love Korea.

Anyway, today is my last day in the small town of Haean. That means after school today, I pack up and move out permanently. Believe it or not, but I'm coming home soon, Monday in fact, and it's going to be a race until the end. I may or may not have internet until I'm back in Hawaii, so be prepared for this to be my last update directly from Korea. It's a shame that it's primarily about bugs, I know, but I'm not sorry. You enjoyed it.

When students break in, Hell breaks loose.

It's after our classes that Keong Ran and I normally take a nap. Kids are draining and we have yet to find a way to evade our exhaustion by the end of lunch. So, we sleep. In this particular occasion, I was strangely awake and playing dress-up with my new Korean-bought dresses. How embarrassing, right? So imagine my surprise when I hear the front screen door sliding open. Peeking my head out of my bedroom, I see two of my students tip toeing into my house! At the time, I was wearing a very unflattering dress and my personal shame outweighed the need to protect my completely vulnerable, slumbering room mate in the adjacent room. I did however try to verbally scold them, but English doesn't do so well with children here. So, when they understood nothing of what I said and headed towards my room, I simply shut my door and locked it. Today was every-man-for-himself day.

I imagined the scenario that was unfolding next door: A normally beautiful woman caught tangled in sheets and in an unflattering position, mouth agape and hair in her face, unsuspecting to the ten year old boy who was sneaking, ever so quietly, to her bedside. Then, like thunder, I hear him scream "KEONG RAN, KEONG RAN, KEONG RAN!!!!" And out the door he ran, little side kick in tow, laughing at their genius.

My angry Asian in pink monkey pajamas exits her bedroom and stomps to the door. The boys are no where in sight. She sleepily turns to me, rubs her eyes and demands, "Who?!" I happily rat them out as Chris and Leg Six (they choose their own English names, thus, ridiculous concoctions like Leg Six, Alien, Eagle, Grape, World Cup and Spiderman, just to name a few). She marches out the door seeking revenge and, not wanting to miss out, I rip off my dress, throw on some shorts and run to catch up.

In their haste, my trouble making students took off with a blatant disregard for their bicycle. Lucky for me as I was craving the wind against my cheeks and a little retribution. Grabbing our purple fly swatter, I jump on and hunt for children.

For the following ten minutes, I ran them down and smacked them around until they gave up and begged for forgiveness. We sat around laughing until it was dinner time, so I cooked us all a little oomshik (food) and together we dined. By nine, Keong Ran and I kicked them out so we could drink rum and soju and end the night in the only appropriate way we know how.

The End.