I visited the hospital again today to drop off some chocolate as a token of good will and friendship. When I walked in I went to the front desk, said the first thing that came to mind, ("doctor"), and the woman ordered me to sit. Not able to argue, I politely complied and sat on the waiting room chairs like a patient until my doctor-friend came out to see me. I gave him my chocolates and tried to leave, but the receptionist woman yelled at the doctor and I was once again ushered to sit, but this time in a huge black leather chair in the middle of the room. 
The doctor turned the chair on and walked away, leaving me alone in the the waiting room getting massaged by a chair. It felt good, I admit, until I looked down and saw my boobs jiggling all over the place due to the hearty chair vibrations... and that felt highly inappropriate, so I crossed my arms and pressed them down. THEN, quite suddenly, something went up my butt. Like seriously, up the crack. That area has never needed massaging before, so I don't know what anyone was thinking when they invented this chair. This butt wedge would go up and down and forward and back and I couldn't get up because my calves were being gripped by the chair. Then the second doctor came down and started asking me questions about how I liked the chair, so I lied about how I enjoyed it while I held down my boobs and ignored the thing between my butt cheeks. Eventually I was just like, "can I turn this off?" and walked away. I am now a full grown woman.
The doctor turned the chair on and walked away, leaving me alone in the the waiting room getting massaged by a chair. It felt good, I admit, until I looked down and saw my boobs jiggling all over the place due to the hearty chair vibrations... and that felt highly inappropriate, so I crossed my arms and pressed them down. THEN, quite suddenly, something went up my butt. Like seriously, up the crack. That area has never needed massaging before, so I don't know what anyone was thinking when they invented this chair. This butt wedge would go up and down and forward and back and I couldn't get up because my calves were being gripped by the chair. Then the second doctor came down and started asking me questions about how I liked the chair, so I lied about how I enjoyed it while I held down my boobs and ignored the thing between my butt cheeks. Eventually I was just like, "can I turn this off?" and walked away. I am now a full grown woman.I made pretty good friends with the doctor of oriental medicine (all you Asians, it's the title he gives himself, I promise). He walked me to the stationary store where I bought two packs of stickers for 1,000 Won (equivalent to roughly a dollar). We talked about the hospital and, being that it's in a very rural area, I asked if hospital services were free. He said, and I quote, "No, but it's very cheap. You can get acupuncture same price as two stickers." ...What? We seriously had to stop in the middle of the side walk so he could clarify just what that meant. Instead of, "Oh, acupuncture is 1,000 Won." It's "same as two stickers." Boy, THAT puts it in perspective!!
We made future plans for me to get acupuncture. I'll trade him, two stickers for a pain-free back. I love
2 comments:
sounds like a pretty good time there, Nix. i mean, if you like being molested by leather chairs. was there any ruling out of satan while this thing was "massaging" your crack?
Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh man Nixy, I can just imagine your surprise...and maybe even secret delight ;) :p HILARIOUS!
~Soph
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